The Atlanta Constitution says: “In Russia the girls carry dynamite in their back hair. In Georgia they carry it in their dear little eyes.”

-from the Richmond Dispatch, Richmond, Virginia, August 8, 1884, quoting the Atlanta Constitution.

note: Back then, “back hair” referred to the hair worn on the back side of the head.

The city clerk of Cleveland, Ohio wants to tax clairvoyants.

- the Mt. Vernon Signal, October 8, 1897, Mt. Vernon, Kentucky, from a front page column of one-liners entitled “Current Topics”

Three Icelandic lepers have arrived at the Lazaretto at Tracadie.They were brought from Winnipeg in a quarantine car.

-from The Evening Sun, New York, 1997

All dudes are nincompoops.

-from a column of general brevities in The Semi-Weekly Bourbon News,  Paris, Kentucky,December 25, 1883

A loaded wagon broke an axle on East Main street, yesterday morning. Street and railroad traffic was delayed almost an hour.

-from the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle, Rochester, New York, 1882

Squirrels are getting saucy and troublesome and have attacked children. When they get too gay, they will be eaten.

-from The Red Oak Sun, Red Oak,Iowa,  1911

Pike’s Peak Consolidated Coal Co. now has thirteen men at the mines. We are not superstitious but 13 – ugh, it makes us shiver.

-from the Huerfano County News, January, 1901

Mrs. W. H. Clausen gave birth to a healthy son weighing fifteen pounds. And yet old fogies croak about the degeneration of the human race.

-from the Burlington Hawkeye, Des Moines, Iowa,  March 19, 1874

Council Bluffs is down with the mumps, and all the children in that lovely city are lopsided.

-from the Burlington Hawkeye, Burlington, Des Moines, Iowa, July 15, 1875

While in Chicago recently, Jacob Fink became infatuated with Christian Science, and as a result his mind is completely shattered.IA1898

Jacob Fink, of Lincoln township, was adjudged insane last week, and taken to the asylum at Clarinda. On the previous Saturday, he started for Stuart, in company with his wife and baby, but insisted on driving through town, when he threw the lines out and lashed the team into a run, which was only stopped when they became tangled in a wire fence. The family walked back to town, Fink carrying the baby and occasionally kneeling in the mud to pray. While in Chicago recently, Fink became infatuated with Christian Science, and as a result his mind is completely shattered. -The Observer, Fontanelle, Iowa, May 26, 1898