Flapjacks, flapjacks, flapjacks! The air is resonant with flapjacks!

-from the Postville Review, 1900, Postville, Iowa

A monster frog swallowed a chicken at Oconee, Ga. the other day.

-from the Vernon Courier, Vernon, Alabama, June 15, 1888

Four men died July 30th from drinking beer from a keg into which a copperhead snake had crawled and died.

-One-line brevity from the Hartford Herald, Ashland Co., Kentucky, Aug.4,1907

Here is the story, special to the New York Times, published August 1, 1907:

A copperhead snake, which had crawled into a keg of beer and died, caused the deaths of “Red” Popham, Sam Biggs, Will Simpson, and Carey Turney in an outing camp at Welch, fifteen miles distant, in the mountains, and probably end the lives of Samuel Willis and Walter Johnson.

Ralph Dunbar came here late to-night and returned to the camp with a doctor. “With seven other men, I went to Welch this afternoon, intending to remain one week. We took several kegs of beer. The journey over the mountains is rough and I presume the beer accumulated an extra amount of gas.  One keg was partly submerged in a spring and the bung flew out. All who drank the beer became ill and four quickly expired. An investigation revealed a big copperhead snake in the keg and this explains the death of my friends.”

Silas Pounds wants to know who stole his jug last Saturday.

-from the Keyesport Journal, Keyesport, Illinois, Wednesday, February 9, 1898

Our school is not progressing. Interest should be taken in the lessons and not so much in another person’s clothes.

-from the Keyesport Journal, Keyesport, Illinois, 1897

Mr. Arthur Antle presented his wife with a new 3-legged milk stool on the occasion of their wedding anniversary last week.

-from The Indian Republican, Tulsa, Indian Territory (IT), 1900 “Published Every Once in a While”

The idler is a blank cartridge in life’s magazine.

-an item from a list entitled “Ragtime Philosophy,”  in The Adair County News, Columbia, Kentucky, Wednesday, June 7, 1907

On the 9th we erred in stating that Lloyd Delong had typhoid fever. He merely had an obstruction with a cold in his bowels.

-from the Berks County Democrat, Boyertown, Pennsylvania, 1920

Don’t light the fire with kerosene. Let the hired girl do it. She hasn’t any wife and children; you have.

from The Climax, Richmond, Kentucky, February 19, 1890

Dr. Oechsli ran over a chicken with his automobile this week. The damages were seventy-seven cents which the doctor paid.

-from The Stockton Review, Stockton, Kansas, 19o9