Prof. Watson has invented a date calculator that if properly handled will make him a fortune.

-from the Mountain Echo newspaper, Feb, 13, 1891, Marion County, Arkansas

Women are more graceful than men because they have no pockets to put their hands in and acquire a slouchy gait while young.

Mountain Echo newspaper, Marion County, Arkansas, 1886

Kronos, Percival, Constance, and Atlas are names being considered for the newly discovered ninth planet of the solar system.

Published in the New York Herald, 1930, referring to a meeting in Flagstaff, Arizona at the Lowell Observatory.