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Sam McElwrath had stepped out doors for a smoke and heard a would-be thief calling his hog in a very low tone.

-from the Dresden Enterprise, November 27, 1903, Dresden, Tennessee

Jacob W. Walk, jr., is the owner of a duck with three legs. Where is Barnum ?

-from the Columbia Spy, July 14, 1888, Washington Borough, Pennsylvania

Mrs. N. H. Waller had a spider taken out of her ear the other day which crawled in while she was asleep.

-from the Clinton Public, Clinton, Illinois, Feb 23, 1883

Spontaneous combustion is supposed to be the cause of the fire that destroyed the barn of John Stoner, two miles north of Bethalto.

Fire Destroys Stoner Barn

Spontaneous combustion is supposed to be the cause of the fire that destroyed the barn of John Stoner, two miles north of Bethalto. The fire broke out at three o’clock in the afternoon. Mr. Stoner was in Bethalto at the time, and his wife was alone on the farm. She said the flames broke out suddenly in all parts of the barn. She tried to untie the livestock in the barn, but was unable to do that on account of the flames. One mule and two calves perished in the fire. Twenty-five loads of hay, and all the farm machinery were in the barn as well as a storm buggy and a motorcycle. All were lost in the fire.  from the Alton Evening Telegraph, July 26, 1919

Squirrels are getting saucy and troublesome and have attacked children. When they get too gay, they will be eaten.

-from The Red Oak Sun, Red Oak,Iowa,  1911

A monster frog swallowed a chicken at Oconee, Ga. the other day.

-from the Vernon Courier, Vernon, Alabama, June 15, 1888

Four men died July 30th from drinking beer from a keg into which a copperhead snake had crawled and died.

-One-line brevity from the Hartford Herald, Ashland Co., Kentucky, Aug.4,1907

Here is the story, special to the New York Times, published August 1, 1907:

A copperhead snake, which had crawled into a keg of beer and died, caused the deaths of “Red” Popham, Sam Biggs, Will Simpson, and Carey Turney in an outing camp at Welch, fifteen miles distant, in the mountains, and probably end the lives of Samuel Willis and Walter Johnson.

Ralph Dunbar came here late to-night and returned to the camp with a doctor. “With seven other men, I went to Welch this afternoon, intending to remain one week. We took several kegs of beer. The journey over the mountains is rough and I presume the beer accumulated an extra amount of gas.  One keg was partly submerged in a spring and the bung flew out. All who drank the beer became ill and four quickly expired. An investigation revealed a big copperhead snake in the keg and this explains the death of my friends.”

Dr. Oechsli ran over a chicken with his automobile this week. The damages were seventy-seven cents which the doctor paid.

-from The Stockton Review, Stockton, Kansas, 19o9

Don’t growl at the children and then talk caressingly at the dog.

-The Adair County News, Jan. 28, 1903, Adair, Kentucky (from a listing of  ”A Dozen Don’ts”)

Mind what I tell you;frogs is revolutin’ and I know it.

John Estep, a fisherman, went over to Missouri frog hunting, having received an order from St. Louis for frog hams. Among other frogs he captured, one with five fully developed legs, and he is as proud as a pea fowl about it. In speaking about his latest catch, last evening, Mr. Estep said: ‘I ketched a frog once that had whiskers like a cat. I ketched another one once that had a tail like a muskrat’s. ‘Nother time I hauled in a big feller that only had one hind leg, and that was enough like a chicken’s to have a spur on it, but it didn’t. Then there was a curious old frog I ketched years ago that had a head you’d a swore belonged to a snapping turtle, and the nobby feller with a regular white streak round his neck like a dude’s collar, and a round spot covering one of his eyes that made him look exactly as if he was wearing one of them dandy eye glasses. Then there was the frog I ketched that was so cross-eyed I was almost afraid to take it off the hook. But I consider this here five legged frog the biggest piece of flesh of the kind I ever ketched. I’ll tell you why: It ain’t no freak, this five legger aint. It is the result of deliberation on the part of the frogs. Frogs is gettin’ scarce, but folks has got to have them and the frogs know it. Frogs is the smartest things in creation. Now what does them five legs on this frog mean? It means that the frogs haint no doubt of what they are here fur, and knowing they are growing lesser and lesser on the face of the earth, and in the swamps thereof, they are jest agoing into the growing of more legs, so that the decrease in the number of frogs will be made up by the increase in the number of their fat and juicy kickers. This fellow only has five. They’ll be doing better bimeby, and some of these days I will fetch in a stock of frogs wearing all the way from eight to ten legs apiece, and every one of them of a quality to make a frog-eater go crazy with delight. Mind what I tell ye; frogs is revolutin’ and I know it.”

-from the Alton Telegraph, Alton, Illinois, June 22,1893