Anyone in Alton who wants to have washing done, call on Senator Edmond Beall. He has taken up a fad of doing laundry work.

-from the Alton Evening Telegraph, Alton, Illinois, October 6, 1913

Anyone in Alton who wants to have washing done, call on Senator Edmond Beall.  He has taken up a fad of doing laundry work. Some time ago, the 47th senatorial district’s representative in the Illinois Senate became interested in the purchase of an electric washing machine, guaranteed to do the work of laundrying household linen with efficiency and dispatch. The senator bought the machine and since then he has been putting in his Monday mornings at home. He was planning to go to Springfield Sunday night with Lieutenant Governor O’Hara, but he recalled that Monday was wash day and so he stayed in his home and will go to Springfield tonight. The senator says that he can turn out twelve tubs of thoroughly laundered linen before 11 o’clock in the morning. He can clean clothes as fast as they can be carried out and hung on the line. The machine is fascinating, and the senator is having a time of it – until the novelty wears off. He has superintended the working of the electric machine for three weeks now, and he is more interested than ever. The reason he bought the machine is that there was some trouble in getting competent help on wash day.

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E. M. Fowler, of Wayland, had an operation performed on his leg on Saturday, and more than a pint of pus was taken from the wound.

from the Democrat & Chronicle, Aug. 7, 1888, Rochester, Monroe, New York

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The Atlanta Constitution says: “In Russia the girls carry dynamite in their back hair. In Georgia they carry it in their dear little eyes.”

-from the Richmond Dispatch, Richmond, Virginia, August 8, 1884, quoting the Atlanta Constitution.

note: Back then, “back hair” referred to the hair worn on the back side of the head.

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The city clerk of Cleveland, Ohio wants to tax clairvoyants.

- the Mt. Vernon Signal, October 8, 1897, Mt. Vernon, Kentucky, from a front page column of one-liners entitled “Current Topics”

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Three Icelandic lepers have arrived at the Lazaretto at Tracadie.They were brought from Winnipeg in a quarantine car.

-from The Evening Sun, New York, 1997

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All dudes are nincompoops.

-from a column of general brevities in The Semi-Weekly Bourbon News,  Paris, Kentucky,December 25, 1883

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A loaded wagon broke an axle on East Main street, yesterday morning. Street and railroad traffic was delayed almost an hour.

-from the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle, Rochester, New York, 1882

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Squirrels are getting saucy and troublesome and have attacked children. When they get too gay, they will be eaten.

-from The Red Oak Sun, Red Oak,Iowa,  1911
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Pike’s Peak Consolidated Coal Co. now has thirteen men at the mines. We are not superstitious but 13 – ugh, it makes us shiver.

-from the Huerfano County News, January, 1901

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Mrs. W. H. Clausen gave birth to a healthy son weighing fifteen pounds. And yet old fogies croak about the degeneration of the human race.

-from the Burlington Hawkeye, Des Moines, Iowa,  March 19, 1874
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